A Cowboy's Guide To Life

• Don't never interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.
• Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
• There's more ways to skin a cat than stickin' his head in a boot jack and jerkin' on his tail.
• Some ranchers raise pigs and some will even admit it. Either way, they're raisin' pigs.
• Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.
• The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
• If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
• Never smack a man who's chewin tobacco.
• If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.
• It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
• The biggest liar you'll ever have to deal with probably watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
• Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
• If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
• Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
• Always drink upstream from the herd.
• Generally, you ain't learnin' nothin' when your mouth is a-jawin'.
• Generally speakin', fancy titles and nightshirts are a waste of time.
• Trust everybody in the game, but always cut the cards.
• If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
• If you're gonna go...go....If your mind's not made up, don't use your spurs.
• Some things ain't funny. You ain't one of them.